9.23.2005

Congratulations to Our Favorite Translator

Congratulations to Sharon. She is featured in a book of translations on Amazon.com. EVERYBODY RUN OUT AND BUY THE BOOK. (We might even get her to sign it!)

Theories of Translation : An Anthology of Essays from Dryden to Derrida
John Biguenet; Paperback; $14.00

Click to enlarge

9.16.2005

Birthday Trip to Dallas

The Jenn-the-artist's be-yoo-tiful family tree birthday cake creation. Clever girl. She didn't put candles on the cake. Just LOTS of leaves.
Q: What's the best way to get a guy to stop humping you?
A: Put in a dog door that he can't fit through.
Emma the border collie (l.) and her cousin Oliver the colliemutt (r. and stuck inside and humpee-less)

9.06.2005

9.05.2005

9.04.2005

8.25.2005

From Salon: The Parable of Jesus and the Rubber Chicken

The Parable of Jesus and the Rubber Chicken
What if Christ spoke at a Republican Party fund-raiser?
By Tom Peyer
Posted Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005, at 4:21 AM PT

TRANSCRIPT OF JESUS CHRIST'S REMARKS AT A REPUBLICAN PARTY FUND-RAISER, CRAWFORD, TEXAS, AUGUST 2005

Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I'm going to have a hard time living up to an introduction like that. (LAUGHTER)

First, let Me express My gratitude for your support over the last few years. It's nice to be thought of as a winner for a change. If I had known we'd get the House, the Senate, and two consecutive terms in the White House (APPLAUSE)—if I'd known all that, I would have had an easier time that Friday on the Cross, let me tell you. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)



But seriously, folks (LAUGHTER)—no, seriously, that day did pass, and then two more. Then I rose from the dead. (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) Thank you. I rose from the dead and I flew up to Heaven. But first, you'll remember, I made a little side trip to Hell (SCATTERED BOOS) just to get a look at how they do things. And I'm here to tell you, Hell is just like Heaven (AUDIBLE GASPS)—but with taxes. (LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE)

I'd especially like to thank President Bush, who gave me a free Pioneer membership. (AUDIBLE GASPS, MUTTERING) Was I not supposed to say that? Sorry. My point is, the president's a good man. The only real difference between Me and him is his daddy found a way to forgive Bill Clinton. (WILD APPLAUSE)

This president married well, too. He married a woman. (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) That's the right way. That's the way my Dad intended. Respect the sanctity of marriage. Now a few loud people keep saying the government should forget about sanctity, forget about religion. They want separation of church and state. See these hands? See the holes in them? That's separation of church and state. (APPLAUSE) I know George W. Bush, and I know he won't ever let that happen to me again. (CHEERS, APPLAUSE)

Ken Mehlman asked me to come down here today to meet with you good people and clear up a few things you've been wondering about. I told him I'd be glad to eat a little crow for a good cause. You'll forgive me if I read a brief prepared statement, but Ken and my Dad want me to get this just right. (LAUGHTER) Here goes.

"In My youth, I made certain ill-advised statements that I now regret. If I offended anyone, I apologize. I want to clarify that it is easy for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven. (CHEERS, WILD APPLAUSE)

"I'd like to apologize specifically to the money-changers. It is My sincere hope that you will come back into the Temple free of charge as My guests." (WILD APPLAUSE, CHANT OF "U.S.A! U.S.A!")

Finally—and this is Me speaking for Myself now—I want to say to the meek: Once we finally get rid of the death tax, you're not inheriting anything. Not while you're meek, so buck up. (CHEERS) And that goes double for you peacemakers. (LAUGHTER) Good night and Dad bless America. (CHEERS, WILD APPLAUSE)

Hart Seely and Tom Peyer are are the co-editors of O Holy Cow: The Selected Verses of Phil Rizzuto.

8.22.2005

Intelligent Fun with Un-Intelligent Design

Link courtesy of fizzicist TB: "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory". From The Onion.

And from the pages of Salon:
(Click on the graphic to enlarge.)

11.18.2004

From the Good 'Ol Pre-Mandate Days

If you're feeling nostalgic for the good old days, when we didn't KNOW that Bush would get another 4 years, the Kansas City Star came up with a great listing of fun and creative campaign websites.

'Hip-Hop Debate'
Build a Better Bush
The Many Faces of Kerry
‘The 2004 Candidates in Drag'
‘Democracy Version 2.0'
‘This Land' & other song parodies
‘John Kerry's Flip Flop Olympics'
Bush loyalty quizzes
Kerry loyalty quizzes
Bush jokes
Kerry jokes
‘Political Circus'
‘October Surprise!'
‘Rowboat Veterans for Truth'
‘President Bush's Debate Notes'
‘Morph Bush and Kerry'
Bush and Kerry torture chambers
‘John Kerry's Softer Side'
‘Useful Voter Guide'
‘Leader of the Free World?'
‘Random Stump Speech Synopsis Haiku Generator'
‘Visualize Winning'
SERIOUS presidential election sites

11.02.2004

This is GREAT. Cast a ballot in Florida - the Jeb and Die-bald way. VOTE

Thanks to Xkalibr for passing along a link to this site.

11.01.2004

Cartoonist Mark Fiore - Flash Animation on Electronic Voting


and his animation on the final days called the "Campaign of Fear" is great!

10.20.2004


April 15, 1993 - October 8, 2004
Most Loyal and Good;
He had the Heart of a Democrat.

The pet funeral "undertaker" came late yesterday. She drove up in a black GM pick-up truck she calls the "ambulance", with a Bush/Cheney sticker on the back window.

My moral quandry on sending my dog away with a Republican had a short duration. We had the first hot day in a month yesterday. At least she had to walk my gauntlet of Kerry/Edwards yard signs.

Seventy-something, she wore a calf-length skirt with cowboy hat and boots. Her assistant is somehow challenged and looks and acts a little like the Disney version of Quasimodo: wide-eyed and open-mouthed. This Quasimodo was young enough to have very bad skin.

When I asked if she wanted to just roll the flatbed that I had the dog on, she leaned in and whispered to me, "Let's just use the stretcher. If there are any children watching, we don't want them to be disturbed."

All I could think of was, "And it's not disturbing to see a child-size, sheet-wrapped corpse being carried by Quasimodo and a Republican woman in cowboy hat, boots and a skirt?"

I am not, incidentally, doing the nine-yards funeral with optional embalming and open casket. I dearly loved my pet but can think of better ways to spend $2000+. That much money could buy a heap of MilkBones for his surviving littermate. I am doing the cheapie cremation.

Having become enamored of home funerals after seeing the PBS film, "A Family Undertaking," I was going to bury Winston in the yard and had all sorts of sentimental ideas about the little Memory Garden that I could create. Then I went out and actually tried to dig the grave. I managed the necessary 4X4 dimensions but only got down about a foot in the Missouri red clay, which was actually softer because it had just rained.

I understood that I would NEVER get to a decent depth. And began to imagine paws and a tail sticking up through the roses in the Memory Garden. And an "odor".

Even a Bush/Cheney "ambulance" can have its appeal.


copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom

10.18.2004

(Didn't Know I Was) Un-American

Powerful Flash movie.

Thanks to Talia and Xkalibr for the link

Generate a Scandal for your Fav Republican

Generate a scandal for your favorite Republican on The Daily Show Scandal Machine.

10.13.2004

Listen to E. L. Doctorow Read "The Unfeeling President"

"But this president does not know what death is. He hasn't the mind for it. You see him joking with the press, peering under the table for the weapons of mass destruction he can't seem to find, you see him at rallies strutting up to the stage in shirt sleeves to the roar of the carefully screened crowd, smiling and waving, triumphal, a he-man." Play (From Air America Radio)

10.12.2004

Banty Bush's Flipping and Flopping

ABC's World News Tonight aired a clip of Bush on the stump jumping and hopping in that banty rooster way he's acquired now that he's down in the polls and a loser at debating. He was misquoting Kerry on the "nuisance of terrorism" and said that "anyone who didn't think the war on terror could be won shouldn't be president."

A couple of minutes later, there was a Kerry ad airing that had the Matt Lauer interview with Bush where he says that the war on terror can't be won. (Kerry ads are back on TV in Mo.. WE ARE "IN PLAY". YEA!)

YOU SAID IT, W. "Anyone who doesn't think the war on terror can be won shouldn't be president." NOW WITHDRAW FROM THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE!!!!!!!

Incidentally, I'm not the first to compare Bush to a Banty Rooster. For those readers who don't happen to be chicken farmers, Banty is slang for a Bantam Rooster. A Bantam Rooster is SMALL and does a lot of macho scratching, strutting, and crowing. In Blues songs, the Banty Rooster's crowing always seems to herald the day and "bad things" happening.
From Banty Rooster Blues by Charlie Patton:

I'm gonna buy me a banty, put him at my backdoor
So when he see a stranger a-comin', he'll flap his wings and crow
What you want with a rooster? He won't crow 'fore day
What you want with a man, when he won't do nothin' he say?"

From Blind Pete Banty Rooster:

What make your rooster crow 'bout the dawn of day? 'Bout the dawn of day?
To let the men know that the good man gone away.


QUOTES OF THE DAY

"Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?"

-----Oklahoma Republican Senate Candidate Tom Coburn

"He knows something I don't know. We have not identified anything like that. We have not had to deal with any issues on that subject -- ever." (Chuckling)
-----Joe McCulley, School Superintendent in Coalgate, Oklahoma

Womankine suggests that Republican Candidate Coburn take a lesson from Missouri Republican Rep Sam Graves. Graves cried "Wolf" about rampant Goth-ism in the Blue Valley School District. After he obtained a porky grant for the school system to battle those nasty old Goths, it was determined that there really weren't ANY Goths, after all. The school district had to return a portion of the grant and Graves was embarassed.

Coburn's comments are also reminiscent of a post that Womankine made a couple of months ago on MediaMatters.org :

Surburbanites Take up Your Arms: The Gays are Coming

Guest host John Gibson postulated a brand new theory of the gay marriage
movement during O'Reilly's regular radio show (8/13/04)
It goes like this. Gays at first "just wanted to be left alone" and so lived in "ghettos" in the cities. Now, they want to move to the suburbs. And what do they need in order to live in the suburbs? Marriage and kids.
Gibson's claims seem to confirm my personal theory that gays have supplanted African-Americans in being the target of bigotry and hate by the Republican "angry white man" talk shows. After all, gays may move into their white suburban ghettos and "ruin the neighborhood".
Keep those shotguns under your beds, you trash-talking Neanderthals.

Womankine thinks that the notion of gays moving to the wilds of southeast Oklahoma is taking the "invasion of the white Republican suburbs" much too far.

Bush as Manet's Olympia painting is censored. (Can you guess who the guy with the oil-derrick-and-crown-on-a-pillow is?) A City Museum of Washington exhibit included this work by Kayti Didriksen along with naughty interpretive art of Reagan during the AIDS crisis and Marion Barry with drug paraphenalia.

But museum officials have pulled the plug on the entire exhibition. They said theirs is a history, not an art museum. One member of the museum board told the Washington Post they thought the exhibit was going to be about furniture.

10.11.2004

The Ballad of Rush-the-Vico-Lush: KILL THE FROGS

'Twas a normal day for the sleeze talk show host.
Rush blustered and huffed and lied more than most
Trash talkin' Re-pub-li-can TOADIES.

"There's an article here that I want to exhort.
From Massachusetts (of course) comes a plot to abort
High school class dis-sec-tion of FROGGIES."

"KILL THE FROGS," Rush screamed to his mush-minded crowd,
"It's a liberal plot, let me say it out loud.
Computer anatomy, HA! I want BLOODY!"

"It's a liberal Democrat Al Qaeda plot!
Train our children to kill frogs and wipe out the lot,
Like all good Re-pub-li-can BULLIES."
copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom

10.10.2004

Michael Moore Reports Theft of Republican Brains and Sense of Humor to Lansing Police

The brains were locked in a box where they were placed after the last moderate Republican governor of Michigan retired in 1980. The party's "sense of humor" was not valued at more than $100 and therefore its theft is considered a misdemeanor.

"I am concerned about the loss of these two items," Moore told reporters. "If there is anything I can do to help the Republicans find them, I will."

Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the Michigan Republicans' brains or sense of humor is asked to call CrimeStoppers at (269) 273-6467.

10.09.2004

Jon Stewart on Cheney's Fib

Thanks to Xkalibr for this link.

MUST-SEE. The REAL WHITEHOUSE website.

10.08.2004

FREE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN GAME

Kellogg Creek and The Christian Science Monitor are offering a free presidential campaign game. Power Politics III will have new screens released each week.



10.02.2004

9.29.2004

Oil Hits $50 a Barrel

from www.worth1000.com propaganda poster contest

9.28.2004

Play the ANTI-BUSH Video Game (You can even link to voter registration at this site)

The Vietnam War Game

How much do you know about the Vietnam War? Go to "school" and learn. The Vietnam War Game

Creation Myths 101

How the Bushies Came to Discover the Flip-Flop (Minds OUT of the gutter, GirlFriends and Boyfriends. Bob Dole SHARES the Viagra samples. And even when those run out, a good Republican just pops in a tape of the Convention, starts ChestpoundingAlong and takes it a little lower.)

The Bush Campaign was hurting. As usual, they had NO money with which to run a Presidential Campaign (and if you buy this one, I have a fair voting-place in Florida to sell you).

Vulcan 1 said, "Let's all go through our closets and find something to sell."

So the Vulcans and 1-2-B Vulcan all went to their closets.

Vulcan 1 said, "I have no successful health plan nor economic plan nor environmental plan. I have nothing to sell."

Vulcan 2 said, "I have an Iraqi war plan. But it's not worth a Texas shrub. I have nothing to sell."
Vulcan 3 said, "I have an Iraqi post-war plan. But it's not worth a Texas shrub. I have nothing to sell."

Vulcan 4 said, "I could bottle hair-styling gel, but I don't have enough spit."

Vulcan 5 said, "We have no military uniforms nor medals to sell. Georgie's Guard Garb is missing somewhere in Alabama."

1-2-B Vulcan piped up, " I could sell all my Saudi gifts and jewels.........but Dad won't let me. HOWEVER, I have all this old Toga Party footwear.

So the Vulcans ALL cleaned out their closets. There were toga party flip-flops galore. Those draft deferment college years were very good flip-flop years indeed for the fledgling Vulcans.

The rest is history. Flip-flops began appearing at every campaign event.

It is said that Vulcan-Sclimemeister-KR-Himself can be seen with his hot glue gun outside major rallies affixing old toga party flip-flops to poster board picket signs. He sells to The Believers for $25 per.

We have solidly unconfirmed reports that the Bush Campaign has raised almost a quarter of a mill selling old flip-flops. And that is from Sophomore Toga Party footwear alone.

Womankine just hopes that there are no plans for the white toga sheets in Florida this year.
copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom
Listen to the Bush Flip-Flop Song at the Political Songs site.
Go to the Daily Kos for a list of BUSH Flip-Flops.

9.27.2004

Is God Sending the Hurricanes ONLY to the FL Counties that Voted for Bush in 2000?

God vs. Bush for the map.

Thanks to Xkalibr for this link.

Enter the Photoshop Propaganda Poster Contest

More info


9.24.2004

Only Re-pubs are Good Christians

They can use power and influence to escape military service while the powerless and the poor are dying.


copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom

Homage to AH-NOLD

Girlie man
Burley man
Surley man
Slur of a man
Cur of a man

copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom

..........bush's boo-boo



copyright 2004 Patricia Hamarstrom

From the Upper Orifice of George W. Bush's OFFICIAL Unpaid Campaign Advisor (otherwise known as Rush-the-Vico-Lush)

"There's good mud and bad mud."

"If you miss this program, you got nowhere to go for the truth."

[Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse] was "hazing" and "an out-of-control fraternity prank."

"The only problem with the [U.N. General Assembly] speech was Bush was talking about freedom and democracy to a room full of thugs and dictators, but it didn't hold him back."

"I'm going to get into it (Bush AWOL story) in a way the mainstream press wouldn't dream of getting into it.......Where is John McCain?........"McCain's been taken prisoner and being held as a POW by the Kerry camp, in the Kerry Hilton"

"I don't want to completely vanquish them (liberals) from the planet. I want at least 2 left on every college campus so that we can remember what they were."

"Everyone has always said that I came along and took a lot of skulls full of mush and shaped them and........It's not true."

9.21.2004

The Halfbright Scholars

A Half of a Halfbright Scholar: "Our parents call each other Bushie. Hmmmmmm. (Halfbright Scholar Poll: Can a GUY have a Bushie?)

B Half of a Halfbright Scholar: "OUR hamster died." (We have the tape of Bush sitting and listening to children read for 7 minutes during the poor little beast's death.)

THE RE-PUB EAT THEIR CHILDREN Heard on Heartland talk radio. A mean trashing of the HBS Halves BY THE RE-PUB HOST. He declared their entire speech to be undecipherable.

"I know what a BONO is. What," he demanded, "is a MONO?"

Sludge Whispering Campaign (also known as the COCKS-Muse Whispering Campaign and, of late, the Speaker-Ninnie Whispering Campaign*****)

HASTERT TAKING DRUG MONEY?

WWM, Heartland - Washington experts denied any rumor that House Speaker Dennis Hastert
receives any of his campaign contributions from drug cartels. In Hastert's recent interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday, he said, "I'm saying I don't know where groups--could be people who support this type of thing. I'm saying we don't know. The fact is we don't know where this money comes from." Asked if "this money" (UNREPORTED Hastert campaign money?) could have derived from heroin sales, a resident expert said that she did not know.

*****A good example of a whispering campaign is the inference planted by conservative media
outlets that Teresa Heinz-Kerry gives money to "terrorists". In fact, she does not. (See
TheHamar's Media Matters blogs to get the full details.)

The most recent example of a whispering campaign is House Speaker Dennis Hastert's inference on Fox News Sunday that George Soros' monies were derived from drug sources. Forbes.com outlines the true source of Soros' wealth.

George W. Bush has a long history of being associated with whispering campaigns. There was one launched against Ann Richards in Bush's gubernatorial bid. The whispers were that she was a lesbian. There were also various whispering campaigns launched against John McCain in his 2000 presidential primary run against Bush. It was inferred that he was mentally unstable, that his African adopted daughter was his illegitimate child, etc.

Whispering campaigns are cheap and effective. They rely on word of mouth and ignorance. Note in the above "article" that I've created on Hastert, the way I have taken real quotes and strung them together, then asked questions instead of making statements.

Womankine's advice, if you read a start to a whispering campaign, is to "turn the Swift Boat into it". Reverse it back onto the first whisperer. And that is what she has done in the above "article" on Hastert. After you have "turned that Swift Boat", take a good shower.

Only Re-pubs are Good Christians

Christian-Re-pub Values in Action:
Womankine noted with great sadness that the Cheney family gathering onstage at the RNC did not include lesbian daughter Mary nor her partner. They remained seated in the audience. Wasn't there a story about a prodigal son in the Bible?

Christian-Re-pub Values in Action:
See WWM. Whispering Campaigns.